To Marmite Or Not To Marmite That Is The Question
by OneRealImonkey
Summary: Crackfic. Holiday hell. I don't own. Read for more info...
**I don't know why. Just go with it. Please.**

 **My sister helped with ideas.**

 **I don't own.** **wish I did.**

 **6 months after my limit.**

To marmite or not to marmite? That is the question.

(Authors P.O.V.)

I decided Jeff was having a perfectly wonderful holiday in Australia with his mother and his boys. Then I thought about it. This is a fanfiction. It cannot be straight sailing. So I used my author powers and I made sure something would go wrong and completely ruin the Tracy holiday. You may be thinking a big storm or some kidnappers but I was tired and it's not that extravagant. No, all that happens to destroy the holiday actually occurs in a shop. Great, now you're thinking robbers with guns but that is also WAY too far out there for my poor mind. Also I would just like to add it had very little to do with Gordon before you blame him. It wasn't hot girls either.

So now you're asking "What did I chose to happen then?"

Well…

Ruth Tracy bought some marmite. There we go, that's it, crisis occurs.

For those people out there who like marmite it doesn't seem that big BUT if like me you don't like marmite you can see the issue. You can imagine the horror getting a _marmite sandwich_ in your lunch. It just so happens that in my mind Jeff, Scott, Virgil and Gordon hate marmite but all the others (including Ruth) love it.

Most people can now see how this will play out. Also I lied Gordon will be a weapon of choice in destroying this fic.

Here we go…

Jeff's Diary:

Monday:

Dear Diary,

Marmite! Mother put marmite in my sandwich. Why didn't I ask Scott to do it? Oh right I want to put less pressure on him. I look around and see Alan and John stuffing themselves, my mother eating more slowly and Scott, Virgil and Gordon looking repulsed. At least it's not just me.

Gordon had whispered "Bleagh" to Scott and Virgil. They had both nodded. Scott had smiled a sly look creeping into his eye and said, "Hey Virge, Gordy I just remembered I promised you something because you behaved excellently the other day. Come with me." They'd put down their sandwiches and followed him, somehow leaving their Grandma unsuspicious. I still can't believe they got away with it. As they left Scott had dropped a note on my lap that gave Alan and John permission to eat their sandwiches. They had already grabbed them and started eating. I had quickly reassured my mother by saying they shouldn't have left them. All of my boys were happy. I was not. I had no excuse until, "Mother I think I'll check on the boys." Yes. I had stood up and gone, dropping the marmite in the bin undetected. The boys and I walked back. Victory.

Jeff.

Tuesday:

Dear Diary,

More marmite. Today the boys escaped with style, I must admit. Gordon 'fell over' and pulled the food into the sea with him. Scott dived in after him before I could react but didn't need to. There is a reason his brothers call him Squid. We had pasta instead.

Jeff.

Wednesday:

Dear Diary,

Scott and Virgil got themselves and Gordon out of Marmite today. I am still suffering but I enjoy watching my sons win. Virgil created a distraction and Scott swapped the sandwiches with something else, I don't know what. Well done to them.

Jeff.

Thursday:

Dear Diary,

I helped my sons today. I 'tripped' and dropped the sandwiches in the dirt. I think my mother is getting suspicious. I don't blame her.

Jeff.

Friday:

Dear Diary,

Today we went to the beach. It turns out my mother knew _A LOT_ more than she had let on. Alan and John had also allied themselves with her. This led to the bag of sun cream disappearing. John and Alan had somehow been 'creamed' before we left the hotel but Scott, Virgil and Gordon were not so lucky. Perhaps I should now mention that we still took the bag of sun cream with us and that it was full of tubes. It was the contents of the tube that created an issue. They were filled with marmite. Gordon's reaction to sun cream is bad. His reaction to having marmite on his back is 10 times worse. He disappeared into the sea at light speed and Scott who had been applying it to Gordon followed swiftly. Seeing the prank Virgil disappeared too. The 3 pranksters smiled.

Jeff.

Saturday:

Dear Diary,

Today has been hell. Team Marmite and Team Anti-Marmite have been pranking each other all day. Anti-Marmite has Gordon on their team and has had the majority of success. Why did I think a family holiday was ever a good idea?

Jeff.

Sunday:

Dear Diary,

WE ARE NEVER HAVING A FAMILY HOLIDAY AGAIN!

Jeffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

File: Jeff Tracy's Diary.:- crashed.

Please reload file: Jeff Tracy's Diary.

Reload failed.

Computer shutting down.

Goodnight.

.

.

.

 **If anyone has ideas for pranks I will do extra chapters for then.**


End file.
